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Work, work, work, work, life, work, work [Sep. 10th, 2007|07:57 pm]
[Tags|, , , ]
[Current Location |Chesham]
[Current Mood |determined]

I'm a week from a deadline for the biggest project I've ever worked on... it's not quite *the* deadline for the project, as the month or so following will be spent on ironing out bugs and change requests whilst the client populates the content of the websites.

Next monday we hand the project over, the project's been a nightmare and a learning experience. I'm pretty sure it's going to fall to pieces, my minion was stolen by the powers that be to work on another project for a month or so, leaving me to rush through the latter stages of the project with less planning and thought that I'd like. There's only little bits to do now, but my testing has been less than ideal and I'd love another week to go through the project and iron out the more obvious glitches that are there.

Between this and an upcoming university assignment, I'm spending almost every waking moment studying, working, or playing scrabble online.

Thankfully, the company's VPN died this weekend and gave me an excuse to relax a little, bouncing around Milton Keynes on Friday night and Saturday morning playing pool and shopping, walking 12 miles on Saturday and shopping in Chinatown and Camden on Sunday before heading home and studying a little.

Today was a little difficult to get back into the swing of things, but fresh, new music helped... I'm home now after a 10 hour working day, ready to get back into studying, semi watching Alias in the background, in Danish subs in the hope of picking up more Danish passively.

I really need a shave.

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(no subject) [Jul. 18th, 2007|12:08 am]
[Tags|, , , ]
[Current Mood |flomp]

I feel both pathetic and accomplished, tired and full of life.

I played badminton for two and a half hours tonight. The first 20 minutes was spend being generally pathetic and rusty... the latter two hours was spent being generally pathetic, rustly and sluggishly out of breath and achey.

I've been meaning to join just a club for the last year or three. I think I need to find another and do it more than once a week to have any hope of becomming vaguely fit and/or competent. Being thrashed by a load of 50-60 year olds wasn't the plan, but I vill prevail! I suspect that's they've all been bodysnatched by aliens, I'll be keeping my eye on them.

Mensa test is arranged for Saturday, though it's in Basingtoke; a mixed blessing. My sister now lives close to it, so I'll go see her on Friday night and stay there. I'd rather not spend this long arway from my studies though, as I'm predictably behind once more in them.

I discovered facebook this weekend gone, as spent silly amounts of time poking around it. This was partially justified on Monday when a sales-type popped his head into the door at worked and announced that we'd probably be doing an a time-critical facebook app for some client or other in the next week or two.

Furniture is being bought, slowly. I've been noting down every single tiny expense I'm making, to avoid waste until I've kicked myself back into gear, it's going better than I expected at the moment, yay!
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(no subject) [Jul. 13th, 2007|06:01 pm]
[Current Mood |determined]

I'm making slow progress on so many fronts that it feels like I'm going nowhere.

I'm in a slightly better financial position than this time last month, have a little more in the way of furniture. I've read bits of many books, been generally constructive at work, studied here and there and not got enough exercise done.

I got a bookshelf this week that has eliminated the last of the DVD piles from around the place, hurrah! This weekend's objectives are largely based around exercise and ploughing through the next book of OU stuff. It's integration related, which I've always found relatively easy, but it needs to be done and actually stick, I've got an exam in October, which I'm totally not ready for.

This week has been utterly exhausting! But progress is being made, just oh so slowly and steadily.

I'd be tempted to buy a load of stuff, shove it on my card and pay it off over the next 6 months to a year, but the company I'm working for recently doubled in size and is a little shaky financially stuff, so playing it safe is good good, but dull and dragging!
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Geekstuff [Jun. 29th, 2007|06:28 pm]
[Current Mood |good]

I had a meeting at the British Red Cross yesterday, which basically amounted to the BRC paying us to come along to an SEO training session, which was awfully nice of them!

As a result of which, I learned many nuances of SEO stuff. I'm always scepktical of SEO types, they seem to base alot of their login more around Black Magic than actual logic, the Search Engine spiders are treated a bit like living entities and the whole issue is made more complicated than such a simple(ish) thing deserves to be.

Anyway, it gave me an excuse to learn, be paid for it, and visit china town in a working day, so I'm happy.

I bought Season 6 of Buffy, 4 of Angel, and, ermmm, 1 of Columbo too yesterday.. hurrah! Also three books, two by Richard Dawkins and one by some bloke or other arguing against him. I'm trying not to buy books for a while, I have an increasing backlog of things to read, and reading's been distracting me from my organised studying.

The God Delusion is motivating me more and most in an anti-religious direction, which is mildly irritating.

Any preferences on (British) Political Parties?
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Goals [Jun. 24th, 2007|05:05 pm]
[Current Mood |crazy]

I walked 20 miles yesterday.

I walked through RAF Halton, which was odd, and conjured up old memories. I though a lot, of my goals and of my past, of how I got to where I am and things I would have done differently. In some ways I've squandered the last few years, spent them hiding away from the world.

I'm scared of death and the world gets to me. If I think about it too much I cannot see a reason for existing. This often leads me to a place of hiding, of doing things that kill time and stop me thinking.

I'll do this and pop my head up out of the sand for a while, be motivated, want to actually work towards making a different and then get depressed again and go back into hiding. Hiding usually consists of online games, fictional books, DVDs and similar.

In the centre of Chesham town center is a flag pole, with the Union Flag blowing in the wind, I approve of this, and can't recall having seen similar in other towns, I'm generally proud of my country, what it represents and it's place in the world (I looked up and out the window and got distracted there).

Over the last year I'm been studying through the open university, because of the structure, because I know that if there's a deadline I'll do the work and because I have no long term goals to get depressed about.

I am my own worst enemy, but, I have weaknesses that I can exploit to defeat myself and actually get stuff done, I can trick and con myself into doing things that I wouldn't otherwise do. I'm not sure if this shows an understanding of myself... or a general state of patheticness!

I have my head half stuck in the sand at the moment, enough to see the world and ponder what I'd like to change, but not enough to get too depressed by the long term future and the futility of everything.

I'm thinking of trying to take a module of two of economics related stuff, I think the Common Agricultural Policy is a bad thing, but I'm not entirely sure, and would like to know for sure.

My stance on religion has hardened in the last few days, my general passiveness towards the area been dealt a blow by the realisation that it's a blot on the landscape of reality. It's still not something I feel strong enough about to treat as a priority, in study or action... but is something I no longer feel apathetic towards.

My goals over the next month are:

  • Research political parties with the potential of getting involved with/volunteering for a major/effective one that I most/kinda agree with, or something - requires more thought/research.
  • Reading a book or two on religion (probably The God Delusion and a history/religion book that's at home waiting to be read)
  • Reading a book or two on racism/various-isms (I have "A short introduction to racism and some other book waiting at home on my to-do shelf.)
  • Continue maths related studying and completing the next assignment *ahead* of schedule.
  • Buying a desk and another bookcase... and maybe a sofa and whiteboard.
  • Cajole / arrange family into meeting somewhere in London sometime.
    ermm.. errr... socialise more... people are good!
  • Take an Mensa IQ test... I've always been disproportionately good at IQ tests, I'm good at the particular brand of thought that they require.
  • Keep up with my exercise regime.
  • Spend less money! Owe less on my credit card than now.
  • Walk to Reading (not necessarily all at once.)

This wasn't really a though out entry and was more of a random dump of stuff that's been on my mind over the last couple of days, if it made sense, then yay!
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*bounce* [Jun. 12th, 2007|08:28 am]
Another assignment out of the way, next isn't due till 1st of August! I'm really really sure I wont leave that one till the last minute!

Saturday was spent saying farewell to St Albans and moving the rest of my stuff out. It's slightly sad, but I'm mostly relived to have got it out the way. Now I can concentrate on sorting out my new place and actually maybe do stuff on weekends.

I walked to Wendover on Sunday, to relax and practice map-reading skills, I followed minor public paths and wooded areas as much as I could, I didn't get waylaid once! I kind of still want to do supidly insane long distance walking, but think I might stagger walking along the Thames Path (following the Thames from source to London) on weekends/sundays for now.

Three weeks into a fitness drive, 'causeI've gotten unfit as hell since moving 3 minutes from work (who'd have thought!) Pushing myself a little more each day, tis good!

Work's been oddly uninspiring lately, but onto a new project today, so hopefully that'll help.

I'm forging on, but still devoid of a long term plan. Learning lots isn't a plan, it's a tool to do other stuff, as is fitness, but I have hope and optimism.
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Studying [Jun. 8th, 2007|06:08 pm]
[Current Mood |energetic]

I'm studying towards a Maths Degree with the Open University.

I considered it before a year or two before actually starting it, I was kind of put of by them not being a "real" university... but over the last 9 months I've fallen in love with them!

To achieve the degree I need to complete 360 points. Modules are typically split into 30 and 60 point, 9 month long courses. I've nearly completed the last assignment in the first module and am about 50% through the second one.

Modules have fixed starting points, the more commons ones have 2 or even three start points in a year, the less common ones start every 2 years.

I'm trying very hard not to get distracted and take up non-maths related modules, but they keep trying to evilly tempt me. Not knowing stuff annoys me, and this seems like a good way of getting to know stuff in a semi-organised way.

My Current Targets are...

Read moreCollapse )

Anyway, less rambling, more doing.
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Rawr [Jun. 6th, 2007|06:07 pm]
[Current Mood |determined]

Ploughing through a seemingly endless sea of stuff.

Got the two Open University deadlines I had due this week done, as per usual too late to use the post. I skipped off to St Albans last night to post them manually.

There's a shadow on the touch pad of my laptop, that I cannot figure out where is coming from; this distracts me.

The Open University stuff is going well so far, the work's not really challenging yet, but it's still covering a lot of stuff that I vaguely covered eight or nine years ago. The lack of difficulty is more than made up by me leaving every assignment to the last week or two to do. I like this, I prefer to study in a intensive manner, using every free second and waking moment. I find this far more enjoyable than doing an hour or three here an there.

I went on what was supposed to be an Epic Trek along Hadrian's Wall last week. Due to the slackingness of my colleague it turned into a casual bike ride along half of the wall. It was nice and relaxing, parts of it are impressive and stuff, but I wanted to really push myself! I wanted pain and suffering and acheyness!

Next time I go alone!

I think I'm going to walk the Thames Path in weekends when I can find the time, though finding long cycle routes may be an option too. I'm incredibly unfit, but have been forcing myself into a slowly increasing exercise regime of the last couple of weeks and am beginning to notice a change for the better.

I have an amazing lack of money! This is caused by moving and holiday and stuff, but is still shocking me. I've never actually had any outstanding amount on my credit card between months before. I'm good with money, if not very good at long term saving. I'm going to have to cut down on expenses and stuff. I still need a load of furniture and stuff for my new place as well. I'm not used to having to work within a fixed budget!

I'm still pondering the meaning of life and what I actually want to do with the rest of it too. I'm happy that all the stuff that I'm doing in the meantime is constructive and is buying me time to figure this out.

Nearly every waking moment is spent doing work, exercise, studying, learning or sorting new place out at the moment. In the odd minute in between tasks I feel completely lost and unable to relax.

Social life is still hovering on the horizon, taunting me with promises of actually existing and laughing at my lack of time. Evil Evil Thing!

Life is great, the world is fantastic and the website that I've been working on this week is sooo inconcievable buggy it's shocking it works at all!
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(no subject) [May. 24th, 2007|10:20 pm]
[Current Mood |optimistic]

Have you ever walked down the street and marveled at everything you see everyday.
Every item, every object; from a buildings to road signs, from people's clothes to little, has been designed by people. Each item is a story of human progress, built up of centuries of progress and human endeavor. Everything, its components, the materials that they have mean made from, their purpose and the laws of science that govern them have been thought out.

I can walk down a street and be filled with hope and joy at our achievements as a race, at the fact that people are thinking, increasing our collective knowledge and improving things on countless fronts everyday. A million infinitesimal steps are being made at progress everyday, by a billion people that may or may not care about the contribution that they're making.


This fills me with optimism about the future and what it holds.
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(no subject) [May. 23rd, 2007|12:39 pm]
[Current Location |Chesham]
[Current Mood |inquisitive]



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